14. A final, no-holds-barred presidential debate is hastily scheduled by the producers of “American Gladiators.”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosTone: satirical
Satirical humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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That, Gentlemen, Is Courage
A Russian, an American, and a British admiral were having a drink on an American aircraft carrier. They were talking about the bravery of their sailors.
The Russian said, “I will demonstrate the bravery of our sailors.”
He calls a sailor over and says, “Jump off the ship. Swim under it and climb back up.”
The sailor promptly salutes and jumps off the flight deck, swims under the ship, climbs up the davits and stands in front of the admiral and salutes.
The Russian says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.”
The American says, “That’s nothing.”
He calls over a PO and says, “I want you to jump off the bow. Swim under the ship to the stern and then return.”
The PO salutes, jumps off the bow, swims to the stern, and climbs back up to stand in front of the admiral and salutes.
The American says, “That, gentlemen, is courage.”
The British admiral says, “That’s nothing. Sailor, come here.”
The matelot comes to attention and salutes.
The admiral says, “I want you to climb the highest mast on the carrier, jump off, swim under the boat from bow to stern and then from beam to beam, then climb up the mast and do it again.”
The matelot looks at the admiral and says, “You can fuck right off, sir!”
The admiral turns to the other two and says, “And that, gentlemen, is courage.”
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Jesus Is Bigger Than COVID-19
Radio Star
Video
JESUS Is Bigger Than tOVID-19
JESUS Is Bigger Than OVID-19
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The Top 11 Celebrity Secret Santa Gifts
11. J.J. Abrams — money silos to store all the coin Disney will throw at him to direct a future “Star Wars” movie
10. Tom Brady — a pressure cooker
9. Tom Brady — Federal Reserve action to prevent deflation
8. Bernie Sanders — combo campaign/get off my lawn signs
7. North West — witnessing a horrible crime so Witness Protection can change her name and reassign her to a nice, suburban, middle-class family from the Kansas City area
6. Jim Gilmore — a mirror, so someone would see him
5. Renée Zellweger — her old face back
4. Ben Carson — a good campaign surgeon
3. Gwyneth Paltrow — a steam cleaner
2. Reince Priebus — balls
1. Miss Piggy — a dry rub
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USA Shooting Gold Medal
Dan @THFC_Dan_: How the f🤭k didnt USA win the gold medal for shooting
paulmc @paulmac_78: Because it wasn’t in a high school???
TOP COMMENTS: That joke is so dark a cop almost shot it.
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Illegal to Own a Christian
PATHEOS.COM
Study finds atheists are more likely to own cats than Christians
Robert Noble: This article is stupid. Besides not knowing how to feed and care for them, it’s illegal to own a Christian, let alone buy and sell them.
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Running Government Like Death Row Records
Trump got 34 felonies, 3 baby mommas, been shot, and kidnapped a sitting President. He running our government like Death Row Records from the 90’s.
