Tone: self-deprecating

Self-deprecating humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Fuck the Lot of You

    Fuck the Lot of You

    Me talking to the sink full of dirty dishes every night

    I’m going to bed. Fuck the lot of you.

  • Medicinal Pizza

    Medicinal Pizza

    When the doctor asks what you’re taking for depression

    6 Medicinal Pizza

  • Day 1 at the Gym

    Day 1 at the Gym

    Day 1 at the gym just finished taking a shit let’s start the work out

  • This Contest Is Hard

    This Contest Is Hard

    Jon @ArfMeasures

    Me *swallowing 4th wet t-shirt* this contest is hard

    11:15 AM – 31 May 19 – Twitter for Android

    2,711 Retweets 20K Likes

  • Disgruntled Employee

    For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.

    The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.

  • Best Costume

    A sure-fire way to win “best costume” at the next Halloween party is to have somebody embed a real chainsaw blade into your shoulder.

    Timing is crucial, though — you don’t want to pass out from loss of blood after 10 minutes, long before the costume judging begins, like I did.

  • You Must Be Single

    Today I bought two bananas, an apple, and a pack of cigarettes. The cashier looked at me and said, “You must be single, huh?” And I’m like, “How do you know that?”

    She said, “Because you’re ugly.”

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  • This Is Adulthood

    This Is Adulthood

    This is adulthood

    lower back MY LONELINESS IS KILLING ME

  • Job Interview

    Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?

    Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.

  • Mirror Mirror

    I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.

    That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.