When the doctor asks what you’re taking for depression
6 Medicinal Pizza
Self-deprecating humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
For the Halloween party at work this year, I went as a disgruntled employee.
The costume was simple: all I had to do was wear my regular clothes and improve my attitude.
A sure-fire way to win “best costume” at the next Halloween party is to have somebody embed a real chainsaw blade into your shoulder.
Timing is crucial, though — you don’t want to pass out from loss of blood after 10 minutes, long before the costume judging begins, like I did.
Job Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in the next five years?
Me: I’d say my biggest weakness is listening.
I want to have sex with someone who’s as attractive as I am.
That’s why I always masturbate in front of a mirror.