Self Deprecating Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

(R.M. Weiner) “Gimme a pack of boners.” -me, talking to my

(R.M. Weiner) “Gimme a pack of boners.” -me, talking to my doctor about Cialis

“I don’t wanna sound like a dick, buuuut…” is how I begin 94%

“I don’t wanna sound like a dick, buuuut…” is how I begin 94% of my conversations.

I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I

I used to be flattered when gay men hit on me. But then I remembered gay men are men, too, like me. Yesterday I put my dick in a tree stump.

My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong

My Uncle Larry once told me that you knew you had a good strong penis if you could lift weights with it. At least, that’s how I explained the whole bowling ball/SuperGlue incident to the ER staff.

“What is it about the accent that makes British guys more

“What is it about the accent that makes British guys more fuckable? I mean except the neighbor in The Jeffersons?” -me, post margarita

My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I

My wife said she wished I were more like Christian Grey, so I stuck a ball gag in her mouth and thoroughly spanked her ass. Turns out she just wanted a hot young rich guy.