Self Deprecating Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

A lot of loud swearing sounds

I don’t know about trees, but when I was alone in the forest and I fell down, I made a lot of loud swearing sounds.

I don’t think I’d do very well on that TV show, “Are You Smarter Than a Fifth Grader?”

But if they ever have a spin-off called, “Can You Beat Up a Fifth Grader?” I’ll bet I could score some nice consolation prizes.

If I die right now, my last Google search will be “carry testicles in milk crate,” so I look forward to my family finding that.

I always give 110%, which is why some of my tweets have 154 characters.

When you try to help the children in need but end up getting roasted instead