Tone: self-deprecating

Self-deprecating humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Escorted Out of the All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet

    Escorted Out of the All You Can Eat Chinese Buffet

    Me being escorted out of the all you can eat Chinese buffet.

  • Explaining AI

    My daughter asked me to explain AI to her.

    I said, “You know how Dad gives wrong answers confidently? It’s like that but faster.”

  • This Could Be Us But We’re Not Douchebags

    This Could Be Us But We’re Not Douchebags

    This could be us but we’re not douchebags.

  • Not Even a Global Pandemic Wants You

    Not Even a Global Pandemic Wants You

    When you haven’t caught COVID and you realize not even a global pandemic wants you.

  • She gave me permission

    My wife said I could be an idiot sometimes.

    I think it was pretty cool of her to give me permission.

  • I stand corrected

    I thought physical therapy was a big scam until I finally went to one for my lower back.

    I stand corrected.

  • He ripped me off

    You know that guy who made the movie “Super Size Me,” in which he gained 31 pounds after eating nothing but McDonald’s food for an entire month? That dude totally ripped me off. I did it first, except he filmed it or something.

  • Pissing Skittles

    Unfortunately, it wasn’t until after I had spent three days eating nothing but beets and asparagus, and downing enough Karo syrup to kill a horse, that I realized maybe it was actually during a dream when I came up with my super-secret formula for “pissing Skittles.”

  • My nose starts pointing skyward

    While I love my renewed confidence now that I had the doctor transfer pubic hair to my bald scalp, the only side effect seems to be that whenever I talk to a pretty girl, my nose starts pointing skyward.