If you’re ever nauseous, you should put your head between your knees and take deep breaths. Unless it’s your own ball stench that’s making you nauseous in the first place — then you should try something else.
Tone: shocking
Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too
When the realtor told me the house was haunted, I wasn’t too worried. Either any residual spirits would be gone within the week, or they’d be into watching a guy whack off to chubby-chick porn six times a day, in which case they’re my kind of ghosts.
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My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy
My boyfriend’s diabetes is so bad that when I dressed as Candy the Stripper for Halloween, he refused to eat me.
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Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to
Hotel sex is great, but I hate having to ask housekeeping to clean around the tied-up midget.
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Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!”
Some woman in traffic yelled out her window at me, “You suck!” Well, duh. How do you think we careened off the guardrail and into oncoming traffic in the first place?
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I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big
I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big bonus for Christmas this year. And the BONER he gave me wasn’t even that big.
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Two things: 1) HDTV is not “Hard Dick TV.” 2) Costco doesn’t
Two things: 1) HDTV is not “Hard Dick TV.” 2) Costco doesn’t like it when you bring a vibrator to look at HDTVs.
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What a mess! I thought they were roofies
What a mess! I thought they were roofies
