I like chicks unshaven down there. No woman who can’t even support a colony of crab lice is gonna raise MY kids.
Tone: shocking
Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our
My wife can’t figure out why I love staying up late to do our taxes. What she doesn’t know is that my process involves writing “I.R.S.” on the forehead of a blow-up doll and repeatedly ramming it in the ass.
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Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and
Don’t you hate it when you get that not-so-fresh feeling and you’re miles away from the ladies’ room and your panties are bunching up and on top of everything else, your balls itch, too?
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You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately
You know when you send a stupid email, then have to immediately send another saying, “Oops, I hit send too soon!”? Well, I like to instead write, “Oops, I was playing with my clit and clicked the wrong button!” That way, they totally forget about the stupid email.
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So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great
So which is worse: Telling your wife that her 86-year-old great aunt “accidentally” touched your junk when you were pity-dancing with her at the wedding reception, or that you cut off your johnson with a plastic knife in the reception hall’s bathroom in order to make sure such a nightmarish vignette never plays out again?
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Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my
Those damn IT security Nazis! What I do in my free time with my laptop is between me and the cleaning lady who digs the tissues out of my trash bin.
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that end in loud, intense orgasms — all while wearing my granny
that end in loud, intense orgasms — all while wearing my granny panties.
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Isn’t it funny that the grandmother in “Little Red Riding Hood”
Isn’t it funny that the grandmother in “Little Red Riding Hood” was upset about being eaten by the wolf? There are people who strategically place peanut butter on their genitalia to try to entice the same effect out of household pets. Just sayin’.
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(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the
(Stephanie S. Thompson) Every rule has it exception — even the Golden Rule. If you enjoy receiving anal sex, for example, it would be wise to get permission before you “Do unto others as you would have others do unto you.”
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“At least you’re a lesser risk for breast cancer!” I quipped to
“At least you’re a lesser risk for breast cancer!” I quipped to the glaring, flatchested feminists seconds before I realized I’d soon be at no risk for testicular cancer.
