Tone: shocking

Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Which President Said That?

    A little boy was sitting in class. The teacher decided that since it was Friday afternoon and there was nothing left to do for the week, she’d let the students go home early if they could answer a question correctly.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The teacher said, “Okay class, which president said, ‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself’?”

    Little Timmy was bouncing up and down in his seat, arm raised: “OOH! OOH! I KNOW!”

    Before the teacher could call on him, little Julie stood and said, “Franklin Roosevelt.”

    “Very good, Julie, you can go,” the teacher replied. “Okay class, which president said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country’?”

    Again, little Timmy’s hand shot into the air and he waved his arms excitedly. “OOH! OOH! I KNOW! PLEASE!”

    Again, before she had a chance to call on anyone, little Sally stood and said, “John Kennedy.”

    “Very good, Sally, you may leave also.” The teacher asked again, “Okay class, which president said, ‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall’?”

    Before Timmy could answer, little Jennifer jumped up and shouted, “Ronald Reagan!”

    Frustrated, little Timmy mumbled to himself, “I wish these bitches would keep their fucking mouths shut!”

    The teacher heard and shouted, “WHO SAID THAT?!?”

    Timmy jumped up: “Bill Clinton! Can I go now?”

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  • One Leg

    What has one leg and licks balls?

    My amputee girlfriend.

  • One Leg

    What has one leg and licks balls?

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    My amputee girlfriend.

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  • Jesus vs. a Frame of Jesus

    What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?

    You can hang the frame with only one nail.

  • Impressed by My Fat Balls

    Impressed by My Fat Balls

    Don’t be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Be impressed by humility integrity, generosity and my fat balls.

  • Stacy Took My Virginity

    Stacy Took My Virginity

    [GUY]-“Stacy took my virginity last night!”

    [FRIEND]-“Isn’t Stacy mentally retarded?”

    [GUY]-“i wanted my first time to be special.”

  • 4 Tips for Guys for Successful Relationships

    1. It’s really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.

    2. It’s really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.

    3. It’s really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickness and in health.

    4. It’s absolutely fucking vital that these three women do not know each other.

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  • That Was a Close One

    That Was a Close One

    So where were you last night?

    I sure as hell wasn’t having sex with little children!

    that was a close one…

  • Madison’s Lab Partner

    Madison’s Lab Partner

    you thought you were having a bad day, at least you’re not Madison’s lab partner…yikesssssss

    Today in my bio lab we were doing check swabs and like checking them out under the microscope.. and cheek cells all look like fried eggs. & this girl was like ummm my don’t look anything like that and so the prof walked over and looked at hers and she goes well that’s because these aren’t cheek cells they’re sperm cells

  • USA Shooting Gold Medal

    USA Shooting Gold Medal

    Dan @THFC_Dan_: How the f🤭k didnt USA win the gold medal for shooting

    paulmc @paulmac_78: Because it wasn’t in a high school???

    TOP COMMENTS: That joke is so dark a cop almost shot it.