Tone: shocking

Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Handjob Under the Table

    Handjob Under the Table

    When your girl is giving you a handjob under the table

  • What’s the Difference Between a Hooker and Jesus?

    What’s the Difference Between a Hooker and Jesus?

    WHATS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A HOOKER AND JESUS?

    WHAT?

    THE LOOK ON THEIR FACE WHEN YOU’RE NAILING THEM.

    imgflip.com

  • And That’s When I Went Downs on Her

    And That’s When I Went Downs on Her

    AND THAT’S WHEN I WENT DOWNS ON HER

  • Still Got That Trophy From When I Banged Your Mom

    Still Got That Trophy From When I Banged Your Mom

    STILL GOT THAT TROPHY FROM WHEN I BANGED YOUR MOM

  • And Thus Sayeth the Lord, YOU FUCKIN’ WANT ONE?

    And Thus Sayeth the Lord, YOU FUCKIN’ WANT ONE?

    AND THUS SAYETH THE LORD,

    YOU FUCKIN’ WANT ONE?

  • The Human Anus Can Stretch Up to 7 Inches – You Can Take Almost Two Full Raccoons Up Your Ass

    The Human Anus Can Stretch Up to 7 Inches – You Can Take Almost Two Full Raccoons Up Your Ass

    ☀MissMorningstar☀ @KeeperOfDankniz

    The human anus can stretch up to 7 inches before taking damage. A raccoon can squeeze into holes as tight as 4 inches, Meaning you can take almost two full raccoons up your ass. Believe in yourself.

    10:27 PM · 10 Oct 19 · Twitter for Android

  • The Top 17 Tweets From President Trump

    17. Winning! Winners win. And I’m a winner who wins, believe me. #ohfucknowwhatdoido

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    16. My huuuge hands typing this from the Oval Office! #HowYouLikeMeNowHillary

    15. Nobody told me the White House was such a dump. Not a single gold toilet. Sad. #3rdWorld

    14. Why do they call it the White House when the kitchen is full of Hispanics? #TrumpHouse

    13. @SCOTUS You’re Fired! #TreatGovernmentLikeBusiness

    12. #100days: abolish Obamacare, export all illegal immigrants, mount Paul Ryan’s balls in the Oval Office #sweetrevenge

    11. @PutinRF_Eng Lincoln bedroom stocked with #Stoli; waiting for your arrival #USARUS

    10. White House? Not on my watch. 2,600 gallons of gold gilt paint on the way! #Glitterpalooza #BlingHouse

    9. Note to self: thank Kellyanne Conway, notify her she won’t be paid.

    8. Just sold Washington Monument to China #suckers #shippingisextra

    7. Got the nuclear codes, so excited: 398236. #watchoutisis #makeamericaglowagain

    6. Melania looks stunning lying naked on the Oval Office’s new polar bear-skin rug, trust me. #MakingAmericaBoneAgain #Bigly

    5. WTF? Canada’s Prime Minister keeps calling, saying USA needs to pay for his wall.

    4. WH needs new housekeepers. @AliciaMachado, job is yours if you can drop 20 lbs!

    3. Just sent my homey @Comey a thank you gift: orange jumpsuit for @Hillary. #orangeisthenewpantsuit

    2. That Lincoln bedroom is SO uncomfortable. No wonder he shot himself. #HoleInTheHead #LumpyMattress

    1. First official act: Lady Liberty loses the burka, shows some leg, gets bigger tits #StatueOfLame #6atBest

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  • Nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me

    I shot the sheriff and the deputy.
    Now there’s nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me from being together!

  • You Can Get Your Butthole Turned Into Chocolates – Edible Anus

    You Can Get Your Butthole Turned Into Chocolates – Edible Anus

    umm wtf?? You can get your butthole turned into chocolates 😂

    ‘Edible Anus’ Company Makes Chocolate Molds of Your (Or a Loved One’s) Butthole

  • What Do People Call the Day I Was Crucified? Good Friday. What the FUCK.

    What Do People Call the Day I Was Crucified? Good Friday. What the FUCK.

    What do people call the day I was crucified?

    Good Friday.

    Yeah, we call it Good Friday!

    What the FUCK.