A dentist tells his patient, “This might hurt a little bit. Are you ready?”
The patient says, “Yes, doc. I’m ready.”
And the dentist says, “I’m sleeping with your wife.”
Tone: shocking
Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Cindy the Witch
A guy goes to a whorehouse, feeling extremely horny. He’s willing to pay big money. The madame realizes that all her girls are currently occupied, but she doesn’t want to lose out on the cash. So she gets an idea.
She puts a blow-up doll in a darkened room. Then she goes back to the guy and says, “You can have Cindy. She’s very shy and doesn’t speak or react, and she likes to do it with the lights off. But you can do anything you want with her, she won’t complain.”
The guy pays his money and goes up to the room.
Ten minutes later he runs back down, naked, screaming, “Cindy’s a witch! Cindy’s a witch!”
“What’s wrong?” asks the madame.
“Well, you told me I could do what I like with Cindy, so I thought I’d try some rough stuff!”
“What happened?”
“I bit her tit and she flew out the window!”
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Skinhead? It’s Leukemia
YOU’RE A SKINHEAD YOU BITCH
NO DAD, IT’S LEUKEMIA
LEUK-WHAT? STOP SPEAKING GERMAN YOU FUCKING NAZI
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Gordon Ramsay Dwarf Lookalike Eaten by Badger
rachel @raalaa_
Roses are red, Sugar is used to sweeten
Gordon Ramsay’s dwarf porn star look alike found dead in badger den half eaten
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Which President Said That?
A little boy was sitting in class. The teacher decided that since it was Friday afternoon and there was nothing left to do for the week, she’d let the students go home early if they could answer a question correctly.
The teacher said, “Okay class, which president said, ‘The only thing we have to fear is fear itself’?”
Little Timmy was bouncing up and down in his seat, arm raised: “OOH! OOH! I KNOW!”
Before the teacher could call on him, little Julie stood and said, “Franklin Roosevelt.”
“Very good, Julie, you can go,” the teacher replied. “Okay class, which president said, ‘Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country’?”
Again, little Timmy’s hand shot into the air and he waved his arms excitedly. “OOH! OOH! I KNOW! PLEASE!”
Again, before she had a chance to call on anyone, little Sally stood and said, “John Kennedy.”
“Very good, Sally, you may leave also.” The teacher asked again, “Okay class, which president said, ‘Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall’?”
Before Timmy could answer, little Jennifer jumped up and shouted, “Ronald Reagan!”
Frustrated, little Timmy mumbled to himself, “I wish these bitches would keep their fucking mouths shut!”
The teacher heard and shouted, “WHO SAID THAT?!?”
Timmy jumped up: “Bill Clinton! Can I go now?”
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One Leg
What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
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Jesus vs. a Frame of Jesus
What’s the difference between Jesus and a frame of Jesus?
You can hang the frame with only one nail.
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Impressed by My Fat Balls
Don’t be impressed by money, followers, degrees and titles. Be impressed by humility integrity, generosity and my fat balls.
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Stacy Took My Virginity
[GUY]-“Stacy took my virginity last night!”
[FRIEND]-“Isn’t Stacy mentally retarded?”
[GUY]-“i wanted my first time to be special.”
