Tone: shocking

Shocking humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • The taste

    What’s the difference between a rectal thermometer and a regular thermometer?
    The taste.

  • Gorilla’s Night Out: A Barroom Surprise!

    A guy walks into a bar…

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    He orders a drink and then notices there’s a huge silverback gorilla chained up at the end of the bar, just sitting there and staring at the bartender. Confused, the guy surveys his surroundings, but everyone at the bar is just chatting away and acting normal.

    He nervously downs his drink and orders another. After finishing his second drink, he summons the courage to ask about the gorilla.

    The bartender says, “Watch this.”

    Then the bartender grabs a 2×4 from under the bar and whacks the gorilla over the head with all his might. The gorilla drops to its knees, unzips the bartender’s fly, and starts sucking his dick.

    The bartender turns to the guy and says, “This is awesome. You gotta try it.”

    The guy says, “Sure, but you don’t have to hit me so hard.”

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  • Legendary Size: Mr. Rutledge’s Final Surprise!

    Old Mr. Rutledge died peacefully in his sleep and was taken to the morgue.

    While fixing him up for the funeral, the mortician naturally got a look at the old dead man naked.

    He was so awestruck at the size of Rutledge’s penis that he called his assistant in.

    “Wow, good on you, Mr. Rutledge! That thing’s gotta be the size of a baseball bat!” the assistant commented.

    Later that night, the mortician commented to his wife, “I worked on the body of an old man today. I swear what he was packing was the size of a baseball bat!”

    His wife’s eyes widened and she said, “Mr. Rutledge died?”

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  • Finding Happiness After Twenty Years Together

    My husband and I were happy for 20 years.
    And then we met.

  • Grief Lessons: Good Counsel, No Tears

    My grief councillor died last week.

    Luckily for me, though, he was very good at his job, because I really don’t give a shit.

  • Love on the Move: Dating Without Ties

    The great thing about dating a homeless woman is you can just drop her off anywhere.

  • Save Lives Now, Make a Difference

    Save Lives Now, Make a Difference

  • Antique Farm Equipment

    Antique Farm Equipment

  • Never Forget: A Witty Reminder

    Knock, knock.
    Who’s there?
    9/11.
    9/11 who?
    You said you’d never forget!!!

  • Nuns vs. Vampire: A Roadside Showdown!

    Two nuns were out driving one night when a vampire jumped onto the hood of their car.
    The first nun yelled to the second “Sister, show him your cross!”
    So the second nun leaned out the window and screamed “Hey! Get the fuck off our car!”