International Women’s Day
COULD HAVE IRONED IT. Just sayin…
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The Passive Aggression of the Christ
The Passive Aggression of the Christ
NO, IT’S FINE, I’LL CARRY IT…
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My First Time With a Condom
I recall my first time with a condom. I was 19 or so.
I went in to buy a packet of condoms at the pharmacy. There was this beautiful woman assistant behind the counter, and she could see that I was new at it.
She handed me the package and asked if I knew how to wear one.
I honestly answered, “No, this is my first time.”
So she unwrapped the package, took one out and slipped it over her thumb. She cautioned me to make sure it was on tight and secure. I apparently still looked confused, so she looked all around the store to see if it was empty.
It was empty. “Just a minute,” she said, and walked to the door and locked it.
Taking my hand, she led me into the back room, unbuttoned her blouse and removed it. She unhooked her bra and laid it aside. “Do these excite you?” she asked.
Well, I was so dumbstruck that all I could do was nod my head.
She then said it was time to slip the condom on. As I was slipping it on, she dropped her skirt, removed her panties and lay down on a desk.
“Well, come on,” she said. “We don’t have much time.”
So I climbed on her. It was so wonderful that, unfortunately, I could no longer hold back and KAPOW — I was done within a few minutes.
She looked at me with a bit of a frown.
“Did you put that condom on?” she asked.
I said, “I sure did,” and held up my thumb to show her!
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Explaining AI
My daughter asked me to explain AI to her.
I said, “You know how Dad gives wrong answers confidently? It’s like that but faster.”
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The Old Man and the Prostitute
A prostitute standing outside a motel in a small town saw a 70+ year old man walking past. She hadn’t had a customer in a while, so she whistles at him and says, “Hey, would you like to have some fun time with me?”
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos -
Every Triangle Is a Love Triangle
Every triangle is a love triangle when you love triangles.
— Pythagoras
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The Circumcision
Two little boys were lying on stretchers next to each other outside the operating room.
The first boy leans over and asks, “What are you in for?”
“I’m here to get my tonsils out and I’m nervous,” the second boy says.
The first kid says, “You’ve got nothing to worry about! I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep and when you wake up they give you lots of ice cream and Jell-O. It’s a breeze!”
“Well, what are you here for?” the second kid asks.
“A circumcision,” the first kid replies woefully.
The second kid says, “Wow! I had that done when I was born and I couldn’t walk for a year!”
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Geometry Fetishes
People with geometry fetishes — they come in all shapes and sizes.
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Sound Advice
My granddad gave me some sound advice on his deathbed.
“It’s worth spending money on good speakers,” he told me.
