The power of language is amazing. For instance, the one-letter difference between “pastries” and “pasties” was enough to get me permanently banned from every Dunkin’ Donuts in North America.
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some
I’m a lot like Sheryl Crow, ’cause all I wanna do is have some fun. I don’t, however, want to bang that bike-racing dude with one nut.
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I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least
I heard Houdini was great at coming out of a box when you least expected it. Big deal — sounds like every man I ever dated.
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I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that
I’ll bet Superman was an amazing fuck. Well, except for that faster-than-a-speeding-bullet part.
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I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be
I’d never vote for another Bush for president, but I might be persuaded to cast one for “Shaved Clam.”
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engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the
engagement rings was updated. My vote goes for basing it on the breast cup size of the fiancee. And if they’re fake? Cubic zirconia. Fair is fair.
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Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Does that
Freud once said, “Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.” Does that mean the rest of the time he was smoking a penis?
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Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes
Ever notice that the root word of “penis” is “pen”? It makes sense when you think about it. Sometimes you really have to grip it hard and make a lot of tight little circles to get the ink flowing.
