Lawyer: my client is trapped inside a penny
Judge: what?
Lawyer: he’s in a cent
Judge: you’re going to jail with him
@baptain_brunch
Tone: witty
Witty humor, jokes, memes, and punchlines sorted by emotional damage level from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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How Is Beauty and the Beast a Tale as Old as Time? A Lady Hooks Up With a Big Dog and All the Candles Start Talking
how is beauty and the beast a “tale as old as time”? a lady hooks up with a big dog, and all the candles in the house start talking? I hope that hasn’t happened before
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The Man Who Invented the Ferris Wheel Never Met the Man Who Invented the Merry Go Round – They Traveled in Different Circles
The man that invented the Ferris wheel never met the man that invented the merry go round. They traveled in different circles.
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Love Do You Want Kids? Absolutely Not – Children We Need to Talk
Love, do you want kids?
Absolutely Not
Me Neither
Children, we need to talk
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I Don’t Think Giving Him a Gun Is the Right Choice Creatively – Paddington 3
Al Kennedy @housetoastonish
I love these movies but I don’t think giving him a gun is the right choice, creatively
IGN @IGN · 07 Jul 21
Paddington 3 will begin shooting in 2022.
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If Size Doesn’t Matter Why Are There No 3 Inch Dildos
If size doesn’t matter why are there no 3 inch dildos
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The Sting Operation
Did you guys hear about the worldwide sting operation on people who mix drinks?
Many of them are behind bars right now.
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Taco Bell
Two guys are arguing about whether Taco Bell should be considered Mexican food.
At least they both agree that it is Mexican.
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The Deer
I told my daughter that I saw a deer on the way to work this morning. She asked me…
“How do you know it was on its way to work?”
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Bulldozer
My wife is learning how to operate a bulldozer.
I’m not going to stand in her way.
