Topic: daily life
Daily life jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Duct Tape: The Ultimate Duck Catcher!
An old man is sitting on his porch and sees a kid walking by carrying a roll of duct tape.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that duct tape?”
“Gonna catch me some ducks!” says the kid.
“What? You can’t catch ducks with duct tape!” he yells back, but the kid continues on his way.
A couple hours later, the kid is walking back the other way, carrying four ducks wrapped up in duct tape. The old man can’t believe it.
The next day, the old guy is sitting on his porch again and sees the kid walking by. This time, he’s got a roll of chicken wire under his arm.
The old guy yells out, “Hey kid! Where are you going with that chicken wire?”
“Gonna catch me some chickens!” says the kid.
“Seriously? You can’t catch chickens with chicken wire!” he yells back, but once again the kid just continues on his way.
Later that day, the kid walks back the other way and, sure enough, he’s got a half-dozen chickens wrapped up in the chicken wire. The old guy is astounded.
The next day, once again, the old guy is sitting out on his porch and sees the kid walking in front of his house.
He yells out, “Hey kid, what’ve you got under your arm there?”
“Pussywillow!” says the kid.
“…Hang on, I’ll go get my hat.”
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Knitting While Speeding: A Hair-Raising Chase!
A patrol car is sitting on the side of the highway when a car speeds past at an alarming rate.
The patrol car takes off in pursuit, comes up beside the car, and looks across at the blonde driving. He notices she is knitting.
The cop turns on his lights and siren, and the blonde continues to knit, oblivious to her surroundings.
The cop winds down his window and uses a bullhorn to get the blonde’s attention, yelling, “Pull over!”
The blonde looks across at the cop, takes a second to answer, and finally says, “No! It’s a scarf!”
