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Topic: death
Death jokes, funeral humor, grim memes, and mortality-themed laughs for anyone coping with existence through deeply inappropriate timing.
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Walter Summerford Lightning
A man named Walter Summerford was struck by lightening 3 times in his life. After his death, his gravestone was also struck.
Jesus Christ!
FUCK THAT GUY
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Odyssey Named After
odysseus: we now set out on our odyssey.
sailor: [raising hand] what’s an odyssey?
odysseus: a long journey named after the only survivor.
sailor: oh ok wait what.
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Rest In Peace
Wife: Babe you know if you die, I’m definitely coming with you.
Husband: I can’t even rest in peace.
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Top 14 Movies About Necrophilia
The Top 14 Movies About Necrophilia
14. Driving Miss Pushing Up Daisies
13. Some Like It Cold
12. Peggy Sue Got Buried
11. People to Do in Denver Who are Dead
10. Sex, Flies and Videotape
9. Lifeless in Seattle
8. The Right Stiff
7. Dr. Jekyll and Miss Formaldehyde
6. How Stella Got Her Grave Back
5. Four Beddings at a Funeral
4. The Corpse Whisperer
3. CASketball
2. Waiting to Exhume
1. Blue Vulva -
Hurts Doesnt It
A married guy was out getting a little “strange stuff” when he suffered a massive heart attack and died. The undertaker called his wife as he was preparing the body, saying, “Your late husband died with a tremendous erection that we can’t get to go away… What would you like us to do?”
To which she replied, “Somehow, that doesn’t surprise me… Cut it off and stuff it in his ass.”
When she went to view the body she noticed a somewhat pained expression on her deceased husband’s face as he lay in the casket. Bending over him she said softly, “Hurts, doesn’t it?”
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The Milk Man Dead
A baby was born to a couple. When he was one, he could talk like an adult. When he was two, he could read anything. When he was three, he could do advanced calculus. When he was four, he could predict the future.
One day, he made three predictions. One year from today, I will die. Two years from today, my mother will die. Three years from today, my father will die.
Sure enough, a year later he died.
The father, getting the picture in a big way, loaded up his wife with a million dollars in life insurance.
Sure enough, a year later she died. He figured he had a year to live it up with that life insurance, which he did, spending every penny of it.
The eve of his projected death, he drank himself into a stupor. To his amazement, he woke up the next morning with nothing more than a bad hangover. He stumbled to the back porch to get the milk for his coffee, where he found the milk man dead.
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Two Kinds of Booty
It’s funny how the hip-hop “booty” is different from the old-time pirate “booty” — yet if you have either of them, you can pretty easily get the other.
