What makes men chase women they have no intention of marrying?
The same urge that makes dogs chase cars they have no intention of driving.
Topic: gender
Gender jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.
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Biker Seeks God’s Greatest Creation
Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”
Davidson thinks about it and says, “I wanna hang out with God, Himself!”
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of ‘Woman’?”
God says, “Ahhh, yes.”
“Well,” says Davidson, “You have some major design flaws in your invention!
1. There’s too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust“Hmmm…..” replies God, “hold on”
God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it.
“It may be that my invention is flawed,” God replies to Arthur Davidson, “but according to My Computer, more guys are riding my invention than yours!”
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Miley Cyrus Home Depot
mikerocks182 1 week ago
When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music.” When I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot.”
Reply · 42
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Differences Between You and Your Boss
When you take a long time, you’re slow.
When your boss takes a long time, he’s thorough.When you don’t do it, you’re lazy.
When your boss doesn’t do it, he’s too busy.When you make a mistake, you’re an idiot.
When your boss makes a mistake, he’s only human.When doing something without being told, you’re overstepping your authority.
When your boss does the same thing, that’s initiative.When you take a stand, you’re being bull-headed.
When your boss does it, he’s being firm.When you overlook a rule of etiquette, you’re being rude.
When your boss skips a few rules, he’s being original.When you please your boss, you’re arse-creeping.
When your boss pleases his boss, he’s being cooperative.When you’re out of the office, you’re wandering around.
When your boss is out of the office, he’s on business.When you have one too many drinks at a social, you’re a drunken bum.
When your boss does the same, he appreciated women.When you’re on a day off sick, you’re always sick.
When your boss takes a day off sick, he must be very ill.When you apply for leave, you must be going for an interview.
When your boss applies for leave, it’s because he’s overworked. -
The Top 15 Signs You’re Drinking a Chick Beer
15. Every time you have to hit the john, you find yourself asking a friend to come along.
14. Warning label states: “Caution: May make ass look fat.”
13. After a few, you find yourself arguing that figure skating actually is a sport.
12. Your belches come out potpourri-scented.
11. You still cry into your eighth one, but now it’s because the guy on the next stool is wearing the same outfit.
10. The slogan: “Get that bloated feeling any day of the month!”
9. The label boasts that it’s this month’s recommendation from Oprah’s Beer Club.
8. Your desire to wear women’s panties is stronger than usual.
7. When you squat to pee in the sink, you notice a fresh floral scent.
6. After you’ve slammed a few, you find yourself at Blockbuster trying to decide between “Sleepless in Seattle” and “Waiting to Exhale.”
5. Regis Philbin gets funnier with every sip!
4. The can has a picture of a shirtless Fabio on the front and a bundt cake recipe on the back.
3. “Who cares about the game? Will & Grace is on!”
2. There’s no head unless you pour some liquor into it.
1. Your man-boobs have started lactating.
The Top 5 List — www.topfive.com
Copyright 2003 by Chris White
