when she comes in drunk but you
sober
eat my ass
PLS STOP
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
-
The Elephant Trunk
A man goes to the doctor, absolutely desperate. He says, “Doc, I was in a horrible accident and lost my penis. I can’t live like this, you have to help me!”
The doctor says, “Good news, we have an experimental procedure. We take a baby elephant’s trunk, graft it on, and it works perfectly.”
The man agrees immediately. The surgery is a success.
Two months later, the man brings a beautiful woman home for a date. Things start heating up, and suddenly, the man feels a twitch in his pants. The trunk-penis is waking up.
As they are sitting there, the elephant trunk unzips his fly, creeps onto the table, reaches into the breadbasket, grabs a dinner roll, and disappears back under the table.
The woman is stunned, her eyes wide.
“That was… amazing!” she says. “Can you do that again?”
The guy smiles, wincing in pain, and replies, “I’d love to, but I don’t think I can fit another dinner roll up my ass!”
-
Steal the Declaration of Independence
We can steal your man
@lordflaconegro
Shawty in the back look like she gonna steal the Declaration of Independence
-
Magic Relationship
Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.
-
One Leg
What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
