We can steal your man
@lordflaconegro
Shawty in the back look like she gonna steal the Declaration of Independence
Topic: relationships
Relationship jokes, dating disasters, marriage chaos, red flags, and emotionally questionable laughs for people who have loved, lost, and texted anyway.
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Magic Relationship
Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.
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One Leg
What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
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Same Name
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
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Stacy Took My Virginity
[GUY]-“Stacy took my virginity last night!”
[FRIEND]-“Isn’t Stacy mentally retarded?”
[GUY]-“i wanted my first time to be special.”
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Wait for the Bulb to Cool Off
My girlfriend and I had sex a couple of days ago. She looked at me and said, “Turn the light off and stick it in my butt”. I guess I should have waited for the bulb to cool off first.
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4 Tips for Guys for Successful Relationships
1. It’s really important to find a woman that you love and who loves you the same.
2. It’s really important to find a woman that sexually excites you and that she feels the same about you.
3. It’s really important to find a woman who will care for you and that you will care for her, in sickness and in health.
4. It’s absolutely fucking vital that these three women do not know each other.
