Jesus walks into a bar.
The bartender says, “You ain’t getting hammered here.”
Topic: religion
Religion jokes, holy weirdness, questionable miracles, and sacred-adjacent punchlines from the part of the internet that definitely heard the thunder.
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Check-In With Jesus: A Divine Request
Jesus walks into a motel.
He puts three nails on the counter and says, “Can you put me up for the night?”
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Mormon and Irishman
A Mormon and an Irishman were seated next to each other in first class on a flight out of NYC.
Once the plane was airborne and the seatbelt sign was turned off, drink orders were taken.
The Irishman asked for a whiskey, which was brought to him right away and placed in front of him.
Then the flight attendant asked the Mormon what he wanted to drink, and he replied, “I would rather be raped by twelve wild whores than let demon liquor touch my lips.”
The Irishman handed his drink back to the attendant and said, “Same here. I didn’t know we had a choice.”
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Why Women Adore Jesus: The Ultimate Gesture!
Why do women love Jesus?
Because he was (spreads arms) hung like this.
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Two Mormons: Double the Fun, Less the Beer!
Why would you invite two Mormons to go fishing?
Because if you only invite one, they’ll drink all your beer.
