When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
Topic: sex
Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
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“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a
“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a broken condom.
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Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never
Word to the wise: No matter how good the sex was, never high-five your dick.
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I’m glad the “Fifty Shades of Grey” author decided to call that
I’m glad the “Fifty Shades of Grey” author decided to call that secret boudoir the “Red Room,” because “Room Where I Get to Stick Stuff Up Your Ass” sounds much less mysterious.
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How exactly is titty fucking pleasing to a woman? That might
How exactly is titty fucking pleasing to a woman? That might explain why I’ve been having so much trouble finding the clitoris.
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Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes, for guys who get hungry
Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes, for guys who get hungry after they fuck.
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She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for
She let me put my Bada-boom in her Bada-bing. I’m gonna try for her Bada-bung next time.
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Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes – for guys who get hungry
Business idea: Whore House of Pancakes – for guys who get hungry after they fuck.
