Topic: sex

Dark sex jokes, adult memes, awkward hookups, bedroom disasters, and the kind of punchlines that should probably clear their browser history afterward.

  • Gay Best Friend

    Gay Best Friend

    Daemon Blackfyre @nekuLDN

    If my girlfriend ever has a “gay best friend”, that nigga better suck my dick to prove it

  • Cooking With Semen

    Cooking With Semen

    COOKING WITH SEMEN

    50 DELICIOUS RECIPES

    SHAUN BOLT

  • Dick Guitar Pick

    Dick Guitar Pick

    DICK

  • Your Shuttle Bus Driver Is HUNG

    Your Shuttle Bus Driver Is HUNG

    Your shuttle bus driver is: HUNG

  • Prostate Exam

    Prostate Exam

    Dr: you need to stop masturbating

    Me: for how long?

    Dr: at least until I finish your prostate exam

    Me: fair enough

  • Dad Behind Me

    Dad Behind Me

    Lost my virginity today… made me remember when i first learnt how to ride a bike. My dad was behind me the whole time

  • Dry Lips Hurt When You Walk

    Dry Lips Hurt When You Walk

    Her: My lips are so dry

    Him: Doesn’t that hurt when you walk?

    Her: What?

    Him: What?

  • Grandfather Clock Skirt

    Grandfather Clock Skirt

    nene @dollcharm: this is literally the perfect skirt length

    President Biden @POTUS: my dick would be swinging out the bottom like a grandfather clock

  • Death by Unga Bunga

    Three explorers crash-land their plane on an uncharted tropical island. The isolationist islanders promptly capture the three survivors and put them on trial for trespassing. Surprisingly, the grand chief of the island speaks broken English.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    “You break harmony on our land,” he says. “There are two punishments for this offense: death, or unga bunga. Choose.” The chief points at the first explorer.

    The first guy chooses unga bunga, because what could be worse than death? Then three islanders step out and drop their loincloths to reveal porn-sized penises. The three islanders then fuck the explorer six ways from Sunday. Once the islanders are spent, the explorer is released.

    The chief then points to the second explorer. “Choose,” he says.

    The second explorer weighs his options. After an excruciating exchange in his own head, he meekly replies, “Unga bunga.”

    Three more islanders drop their loincloths, their penises even bigger than the ones before. They have their way with the second explorer and then release him.

    The chief points at the third explorer. “Choose,” he says.

    “Death,” the explorer replies.

    The chief scratches his chin and reflects. “No one ever choose death before… Death by unga bunga!”

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  • Tight, Isn’t It?

    A man picks up a prostitute and is headed for the motel. She just cannot stop talking about how awesome her pussy is. They get to the motel room and undress.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    To demonstrate, she says to him, “Put a finger in.” He puts a finger in.

    “Put two fingers in.” He puts two fingers in.

    “Put four fingers in.” He does.

    “Put your hand in.” He does.

    “Put your other hand in.” He does.

    “Now, clap!”

    He tries and tries, but cannot clap.

    She says, “Tight, isn’t it?”

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