Topic: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

  • One Leg

    What has one leg and licks balls?

    My amputee girlfriend.

  • Flappuccino

    What is the female equivalent of teabagging?

    A flappuccino.

  • A Friendly Reminder

    A friendly reminder: anal sex requires no less than a butt load of lubricant.

  • Sleeping Bag

    You ever get laid in a sleeping bag? It’s awful.

    You can’t ever move, you’re drenched in sweat, and your scout master is covering your mouth.

  • Sign Language

    A hand job from a deaf person counts as oral.

  • Amish Rowboating

    Do Amish boyfriends rowboat the girlfriend’s titties?

  • Paraplegic Strip Club

    The other day I went to a paraplegic strip club.

    The place was crawling with pussy.

  • Teeth Marks

    How do you know that a suicide victim was gay?

    The teeth marks are farther down the barrel.

  • Souble Standards

    When I’m sitting in a restaurant with a date and she asks, “Do you mind if I smoke?” I always feel like saying, “No, but do you mind if I sit here beside you and discreetly masturbate under the tablecloth?”

    Regrettably, I never do, since by the time she gets around to asking about the cigarette, I’m usually half finished and have no intention of stopping anyway.

  • Inspect Her Gadget

    I’m starting a vibrator repair service.
    I’m calling it “Inspect Her Gadget.”