Topic: sexual innuendo

Sexual innuendo jokes, memes, dark humor, awkward moments, and weird little disasters from Chaotic Meh — sharp, strange, and probably not safe to explain at brunch.

I can understand sign language. If you accidentally brush your

I can understand sign language. If you accidentally brush your tit on my arm it means “Buy me a drink.”
I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they

I don’t understand couples who like to watch porn while they fuck. That’s like making Little League baseball players watch the World Series of Fucking during every game.
Tonight’s forecast: Overnight highs in the mid 70s with mostly

Tonight’s forecast: Overnight highs in the mid 70s with mostly cloudy skies and a 60% chance of me cornholing your sister.
“STOP BLOWING IT FOR EVERYONE!!” I yelled at the fluffer on the

“STOP BLOWING IT FOR EVERYONE!!” I yelled at the fluffer on the set of our “Addams Family” themed porno.
Fucking a vacuum is perfect because it can’t tell anyone that

Fucking a vacuum is perfect because it can’t tell anyone that you’ve been fucking it whether its mouth is full or not.
No one else wants to say it, but I will… Women giving blowjobs

No one else wants to say it, but I will… Women giving blowjobs to strap-on dildos is stupid.
Just when I was reconsidering marketing a new sex toy, a

Just when I was reconsidering marketing a new sex toy, a mysterious voice reminded me: “If you build it, they will come.”
On the unrated DVD of “Home Alone,” Macaulay Culkin’s mom blows

On the unrated DVD of “Home Alone,” Macaulay Culkin’s mom blows John Candy and his polka buddies in exchange for a ride to Chicago.
A Hummer limo seem like a good idea for Prom since the two best

A Hummer limo seem like a good idea for Prom since the two best things about Prom are right there in its name.
You can tell how puritanical this country is by the fact that

You can tell how puritanical this country is by the fact that Hallmark doesn’t make a “Happy Felllated Birthday” card.