I just learned a new riff on my ukulele, in case you were wondering where all this pussy came from.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part
Shaved my balls tonight, and man was it painful! The worst part was getting them out of my scrotum.
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The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to
The song says you can’t hurry love, yet my boyfriend manages to cum in less than 60 seconds every damn time.
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My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to
My dog taught me to how lick my balls. Then he showed me how to scratch behind my ear with my back leg, because I needed TWO tricks for this last New Year’s Eve party.
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Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the
Apparently a red light outside a whorehouse doesn’t mean the same thing as at a traffic light. Blue balls seem universal, though.
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When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning
When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
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With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot
With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot up my ass. Guess which room of the house I’m in? Yep, your mom’s bedroom.
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None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
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What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely
What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely nothing to do with jazz vocal improvisation using nonsense syllables! It was gross. Luckily, I can get it out of my head by showing off my barefoot skiing skills at tomorrow night’s watersports party.
