Don’t get me wrong, I love playing “Santa and His Helper” with my wife, especially when she licks the candy cane and empties out Santa’s sack. I just wish she weren’t so insistent about hanging Santa’s balls from the tree.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
-
I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big
I could’ve sworn my boss said he was going to give me a big bonus for Christmas this year. And the BONER he gave me wasn’t even that big.
-
But in the end, it’s always my dick that somehow ends up
But in the end, it’s always my dick that somehow ends up grabbing my attention. (Jim Woodruff My new girlfriend is the sexiest woman in the world: big firm breasts, gorgeous eyes and lips, luscious curving hips, long and thick peni– hey, wait just a fucking minute! Oh, my god. I can’t believe this! She totally forgot to wish me a happy one-week anniversary!
-
There are no three words in the English language sexier or more
There are no three words in the English language sexier or more romantic than those three that every woman longs to hear a man say: “I’d hit that!”
-
While I was traveling for work, my wife called to excitedly tell
While I was traveling for work, my wife called to excitedly tell me that she was expecting at least eight inches overnight. I hope she was only talking about snow.
-
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of
What can I say, I’m good in bed. And I have the collection of melted vibrators to prove it.
-
I was crushed when I wasn’t voted prom queen in high school, but
I was crushed when I wasn’t voted prom queen in high school, but I’ve since redeemed myself by being chosen blowjob queen of my trailer court.
-
I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my
I thought the elementary school kids might enjoy seeing my collection of giant roosters and stolen cats. But for some strange reason, the principal called me and told me to keep my huge cocks and hot pussies at home.
-
Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you
Today’s lesson: “Right” versus “correct” Wife: “What are you thinking about right now?” RIGHT answer: “Not much. just how much I love you.” CORRECT answer: “How much I love you giving it to Taylor Swift with a Hello Kitty strap-on in a kiddie pool full of tapioca pudding in my fantasies.”
