At the party last night, there was a girl wearing the same T-shirt as me.
It was a tight fit, but we managed.
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
Wife wanted me to put the magic back into our relationship.
But I don’t think sawing her in half was what she was thinking.
When I was a kid, a wizard gave me a choice — to have a giant dick, or perfect memory.
I forgot which one I picked.
What has one leg and licks balls?
My amputee girlfriend.
I should be happy because I have a new girlfriend. The problem is she has the same name as my sister. So every time we have sex now…
…all I think about is my new girlfriend.
I’ll never forget what my granddad said to me before he croaked.
He said, “Hey kid, wanna hear my frog impression?”
I’ve always been different from most people. For instance, I bleed at the sight of someone passing out.
I shot the sheriff and the deputy.
Now there’s nothing to stop Aunt Bea and me from being together!
Two guys are arguing about whether Taco Bell should be considered Mexican food.
At least they both agree that it is Mexican.
They say make-up sex is the best, which is lucky, because all my sex is made up.