My girlfriend gives the best blowjobs EVER. It’s not the penis-in-the-mouth part that so great, though — it’s the part where she doesn’t get mad at me for pretending that I’m Captain Kirk and she’s Mr. Spock.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you
The thing I find so disgusting about airport bathrooms is you have no idea how many people have smeared a sheen of their semen on the toilet seat before you did.
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My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama
My girlfriend and I are trying to do every position in the Kama Sutra, and had no problems with The Butterfly, The Bridge, The Plow, The Rowing Boat and The Suspended Scissors. However, we’ve been stuck for more than a week on The Chinese Sex Trap.
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Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous
Man, did I ever screw up with my Craigslist ad. My adventurous girlfriend asked me to organize a gangbang for her; now how the hell do I get all these Crips and Bloods out of my apartment?
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Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and
Jesus, I’m not sure things will ever be the same between me and my girlfriend. I could’ve SWORN she said she wanted a squirrel necklace.
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There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a
There is no “I” in “team,” but there are at least six eyes in a Daisy Chain.
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My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t
My girlfriend likes to watch me jerk off. Too bad she doesn’t like to watch me eat Froot Loops and play video games, because that would pretty much cover my entire day.
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I like to tease my boyfriend by telling him I’m about to get
I like to tease my boyfriend by telling him I’m about to get hot, wet and naked. Dork thinks I’m taking a shower when I’m actually attending a giant lesbian orgy.
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My two favorite things to do with my penis are peeing and
My two favorite things to do with my penis are peeing and ladies. What are YOUR two favorite things to do with my penis?
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Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that
Sometimes when I’m having sex with my girlfriend, I imagine that I’m with another woman. Then again, so does she.
