When I looked down to see my penis was swollen large and turning green, I started to panic. Then I realized I’d mistakenly purchased “Shrek” condoms.
Delivery Style: bait and switch
Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot
With my pants around my ankles, I’m having a jet of water shot up my ass. Guess which room of the house I’m in? Yep, your mom’s bedroom.
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None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my
None of the girls at the salon will wax my ass after they saw my vestigial tail because now they think I’m a demon.
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Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex:
Turns out that my wife ascribes to a double standard during sex: using “cum” as a verb is acceptable, whereas using it as a noun is not.
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What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely
What the fuck? That disgusting “scat party” had absolutely nothing to do with jazz vocal improvisation using nonsense syllables! It was gross. Luckily, I can get it out of my head by showing off my barefoot skiing skills at tomorrow night’s watersports party.
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Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics
Prenatal ultrasound: Our first dick pics.
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“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a
“Hey Mother, want another?” Some dude trying to get rid of a broken condom.
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Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not
Motherfucker, stand back while I BLOW YOUR MIND. – Why I’m not allowed to play trains with my niece
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Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s
Handy household tip: When realigning a screen door that’s slipped off the track, try using “shit piss motherfucking cocksucker.”
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I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth
I’ve got some wacky church camp stories! Like the time a youth minister crawled into my tent naked after he said a bear stole his clothes.
