Delivery Style: bait and switch

Bait and switch joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Stop pretending that I cared

    My wife stopped pretending to have orgasms years ago. That’s all right with me, though, because it allowed me to stop pretending that I cared.

  • Souble Standards

    When I’m sitting in a restaurant with a date and she asks, “Do you mind if I smoke?” I always feel like saying, “No, but do you mind if I sit here beside you and discreetly masturbate under the tablecloth?”

    Regrettably, I never do, since by the time she gets around to asking about the cigarette, I’m usually half finished and have no intention of stopping anyway.

  • A complete prick

    When I first met Richard Peter Johnson, he seemed like a decent guy, but he turned out to be a complete prick.

  • Came out of the closet

    While the police are wrongly referring to it as an aborted attempt to rob a convenience store, I couldn’t be prouder that I finally came out of the closet with my pantyhose fetish.

  • A ceiling rafter

    I found a guy kayaking in my attic when I got home from work today…

    It turns out he was a ceiling rafter.

  • A lot of things changed

    When my girlfriend got pregnant, a lot of things changed.
    Like my name, my phone number, and my address.

  • Ex-Wife’s Comeback: Love Beyond Worn-Out!

    A husband sees his ex-wife on the street. Knowing she remarried, he says, “Hey! How does your new husband like that worn-out old pussy of yours?”

    And she says, “He likes it just fine, once he gets past the worn-out part.”

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  • I didn’t know she sold flowers

    My girlfriend asked why I never buy her flowers.

    I told her I didn’t know she sold flowers.

  • Furry Trouble in the Forest!

    A bear and a bunny rabbit were pooping next to each other in the woods. The bear asked the bunny if it had problems with poop sticking to its fur.

    The bunny replied with a soft, “No, Mr. Bear, I don’t have a problem with poop sticking to my fur.”

    So, the bear wiped its butt with the bunny rabbit.

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  • You got a drink named Steve?

    A grasshopper walks into a bar.

    The bartender tells him, “You know, we have a drink named after you.”

    The grasshopper answers, “You got a drink named Steve?”