YOU SEE SON, GRILLING A GOOD STEAK IS A LOT LIKE YOUR MOM
ONCE IT STARTS BLEEDING, IT’S TIME TO FLIP HER OVER TO THE BROWN SIDE.
Delivery Style: comparative
Comparative joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Sperm Bank Towel
The moment you realize a sperm bank pays a shot……
…and you have a towel worth $1800 at home
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White Person Spicy Salad
White person: Wow this sure is spicy!
Me: It’s a salad
White person: The sauce is burning me up
Me: …the ranch?
White Person: Ow ouch ouch
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The KGB Rabbit
The CIA, MI6, and KGB decide to have a competition to decide once and for all who are the best intelligence agency.
They meet on an island in the Pacific and release a rabbit into the forest, and then one by one each of them has to see how long it takes them to catch it.
The CIA goes into the forest first. They place the most sensitive listening equipment every few dozen meters. They scan the forest with satellites and analyze the images with AI. They pay the birds and mice to be informants. After four weeks, they write a report saying the rabbit does not exist and has never existed.
The MI6 team goes into the forest. After a couple days with no leads they make a pot of tea and argue about cricket for a week, and then return and declare the rabbit must have escaped to another island.
The KGB goes into the forest. Two hours later they return with a bear covered with bruises and two black eyes saying: “Okay, okay, I’m a rabbit, my family are all rabbits, and everyone I know is a rabbit!”
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Chocolate Wins: Eight Delicious Reasons Why
Reasons why Chocolate is Better than Sex
1. You can GET chocolate
2. “If you love me you’ll swallow that” has real meaning with chocolate
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother
7. If you bite the nuts too hard the chocolate won’t mind
8. Two people of the same sex can have chocolate without being called nasty names
9. The word “commitment” doesn’t scare off chocolate
10. You can have chocolate on top of your workbench/desk during working hours without upsetting coworkers
11. You can ask a stranger for chocolate without getting your face slapped
12. You don’t get hairs in your mouth with chocolate
13. With chocolate there’s no need to fake it
14. Chocolate doesn’t make you pregnant
15. You can have chocolate any time of month
16. Good chocolate is easy to find
17. You can have as many kinds of chocolate as you can handle
18. You are never too young or too old for chocolate
19. When you have chocolate it does not keep your neighbors awake
20. With chocolate size doesn’t matter.
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Stop Biting Our Cheeks by 66
It takes 10,000 hours to become an expert at something and we chew food for an average of 25 minutes per day. Using that logic, we will stop biting our cheeks by the age of 66.
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German Study Challenges American Penis Research Findings
Several years ago the United States funded a study to determine why the head on a man’s penis is larger than the shaft. The study took two years and cost over $180,000. The results of the study concluded that the reason the head of a man’s penis is larger than the shaft was to provide the man with more pleasure during sex.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.Unleash Chaos
