Delivery Style: comparative

If Men Ran the World…

Telephones would cut off after a minute of conversation.

Valentine’s Day would be moved to February 29th so it would only occur in leap year.

Garbage would take itself out.

Football would be on every day of the year.

Instead of beer-belly, you’d get beer-biceps.

Tanks would be far easier to rent.

When a cop gave you a ticket, every smart-aleck answer you responded with would actually reduce your fine. As in:

Cop: “You know how fast you were going?”
You: “All I know is, I was spilling my beer all over the place.”
Cop: “Nice one. That’s $10.00 off.”

Instead of a fancy, expensive engagement ring, you could present your wife-to-be with a giant foam hand that said “You’re #1!”

When your girlfriend/wife really needed to talk to you during the game, she’d appear in a little box in the corner of the screen during a time-out.

“Sorry I’m late, but I got wasted last night,” would be an acceptable excuse for tardiness.

At the end of the workday a whistle would blow and you would jump out of your window and slide down the tail of a brontosaurus and right into your car like Fred Flintstone.

Hallmark would make ‘Sorry, what was your name again?’ cards.