A man is about to have sex with a really large woman, so he climbs on top of her.
“Can I turn the ceiling light off?” he asks.
“Why?” she replies. “Are you feeling a bit shy?”
“No,” he says. “It’s burning my ass.”
Delivery Style: dialogue
Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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He’s at Home with the Kids
A woman enrolled in nursing school was attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day was involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asked the woman, “Do you know what your asshole does when you’re having an orgasm?”
“Sure,” she said. “He’s at home, taking care of the kids.”
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A Bulldog Eating Mayonnaise
A man and his four-year-old son were talking about sex. The son asked his father, “Dad, what does a pussy look like?”
The dad asked him, “Before or after sex?”
“Ummm, before sex,” the kid replied.
The dad said, “Have you ever seen a beautiful red rose with soft red petals?”
“Yeah,” said the son. “Well, what about after sex?”
His dad replied, “Have you ever seen a bulldog eating mayonnaise?”
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It’s the Truth I’m Worried About
A friend of mine was trying to figure out the best way to break up with her boyfriend. She seemed awfully concerned that he not be angry.
“Are you afraid he’ll spread lies about you?” I asked.
“I don’t mind the lies,” she answered. “But if he ever tells the truth, I’ll break his neck.”
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I Used to Be Six Feet Tall
A midget went into a whorehouse. None of the girls really wanted to serve him, so finally they drew lots and Mitzi was unlucky and went up to the room with him.
A minute later, there was a loud scream. The Madam and all of the girls charged up the staircase and into the room. Mitzi lay on the floor in a dead faint.
Standing next to the bed was the midget, nude, with a three-foot cock hanging down and almost touching the floor. The girls were dumbfounded by the sight. Finally, one of them regained her composure enough to say, “Sir, would you mind if we felt it? We’ve never seen anything like that before.”
The midget sighed. “Okay, honey, but only touching. No sucking. I used to be six feet tall.”
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The Pope’s Miracle Hearing
The Pope is handing out miracles to kids in Liverpool. Billy walks on stage and asks him, “Can you help me with my hearing?”
The Pope says, “Yes,” puts his hands on Billy’s ears, and prays. He removes his hands and asks, “How is your hearing now?”
Billy says, “I don’t know, it’s not until next Wednesday.”
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Wife’s Accidental Car Meeting Goes Wrong
Over dinner, a woman said to her husband, “I met this horrible and rude man downtown this morning, and right away I knew he was a troublemaker. He started to insult me; he used really bad language; he even threatened me!”
“How did you meet this fellow?” He asked, very concerned.
She said, “Well, we met by accident, I hit him with the car.”
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Biker Seeks God’s Greatest Creation
Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, dies and goes to heaven. At the gates, an angel tells Davidson, “Well, you’ve been such a good guy and your motorcycles have changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone you want in Heaven.”
Davidson thinks about it and says, “I wanna hang out with God, Himself!”
The befeathered fellow at the Gates takes Arthur to the Throne Room and introduces him to God. Arthur then asks God, “Hey, aren’t you the inventor of ‘Woman’?”
God says, “Ahhh, yes.”
“Well,” says Davidson, “You have some major design flaws in your invention!
1. There’s too much front end protrusion
2. It chatters at high speeds
3. The rear end wobbles too much
4. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust“Hmmm…..” replies God, “hold on”
God goes to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes and waits for the result. The computer prints out a slip of paper and God reads it.
“It may be that my invention is flawed,” God replies to Arthur Davidson, “but according to My Computer, more guys are riding my invention than yours!”
