What do people call the day I was crucified?
Good Friday.
Yeah, we call it Good Friday!
What the FUCK.
Delivery Style: dialogue
Dialogue joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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What Makes You Think We’re Having Sex Tonight? I’m Stronger Than You.
What makes you think we’re having sex tonight?
I’m stronger than you.
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My Client Is Trapped Inside a Penny – He’s in a Cent – You’re Going to Jail With Him
Lawyer: my client is trapped inside a penny
Judge: what?
Lawyer: he’s in a cent
Judge: you’re going to jail with him
@baptain_brunch
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Got Her an Identical Dog to Cheer Her Up – What Am I Supposed to Do With 2 Dead Dogs?
My girlfriend’s dog died
I get her an identical one to help cheer her up
Her: What TF am I supposed to do with 2 dead dogs?
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I’m a Doctor in Mathematics – My Friend Is Dying – Minus One
– Do you have a doctor here?
– yes, I’m.
– What’s your specialty?
– I’m a doctor in Mathematics.
– My friend is dying.
– Minus one.
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It’s Really Muggy Out – I’m Leaving You – Sips Coffee From Bowl
Max Dylan Ash @mynameisntdave
ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
ME: *sips coffee from bowl*
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I Struck Down a Jedi – Yes Use Your Hate
Gringo Brulee @GringoBrulee
Wife: wtf is this pile of clothes doing on the floor?
Me: I struck down a Jedi.
W: god I hate you.
M: yes, use your hate
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Can You Give the Kids a Talk on Drugs – I Talk a Lot of Shit When I’m High
Wife: Can you give the kids a talk on drugs?
Me: Ok but I talk a lot of shit when I’m high
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Dog: Drop the Ball – Dog: Go Fuck Yourself
Dog: You are my life. My purpose. I will do anything for you
Human: Drop the ball
Dog: Go fuck yourself
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My Fish Is Very Dry – We Had to Take Him Out of the Water – Smart
john @mrjohndarby
me: my fish is very dry
waiter: yes, we had to take him out of the water
me: smart
