I was slipping into my date’s drink, but it turns out they were laxatives.
Delivery Style: misdirection
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What a mess! I thought they were roofies
What a mess! I thought they were roofies
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My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s
My boyfriend got really excited when I whispered, “Someone’s getting anal tonight.” Unfortunately for him, I was referring to his mom’s meticulousness in the kitchen.
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My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like
My ex called me “Snakegirl.” Turns out it was because I like snakeskin boots so much and had nothing to do with that cool blowjob trick I do where I unhinge my jaw.
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My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it
My sperm bank went out of business. My mistake was building it so close to Jilly G.’s house — by the time the donors got to my office, they were pretty well emptied of fluids.
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They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your
They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your toilet tank. I must be saving a ton of water because I drop one directly in the bowl every morning.
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There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re
There’s nothing sexier than a really smart guy. Unless we’re talking about sex, then a huge dick is really hot, too.
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A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that*
A good kiss can bring me to my knees. Not literally — *that* takes jewelry.
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I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull
I don’t know why my wife complains so much. If I were a bull rider, lasting 8 seconds would win me a lot of rodeo competitions.
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After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t
After I called a woman for a blind date last week, I couldn’t remember whether she told me that she was a “virgin” or a “vegan.” So on our first date I hedged my bets by banging her *and* bringing her a salad.
