Misdirection Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you

Hey, if you don’t want your ball inflated, don’t ask me to blow you.

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response

I think maybe “all that AND a bag of chips” was a bad response when my boyfriend asked me what I stuck in his ass.

My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the

My girlfriend is going to dress up as a “naughty nurse” for the Halloween party we’re attending. Awesome! When we get back home, tonight’s rectal thermometer session will be that much more authentic.

I have a dancing iguana tattooed around my

I learned a new word today: “Sploogemaster.” Or was it

I learned a new word today: “Sploogemaster.” Or was it “Sploogemeister”? Either way, it totally got me kicked out of Chuck-E-Cheese.

When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you

When doing a crossword puzzle and asking the person next to you to spell the word “pungent,” make sure you’re not looking up from their vagina.

Now that I’m done with my busy season at work, I’m ready to

Now that I’m done with my busy season at work, I’m ready to resume churning out

While I was showering, the little voices in my head were saying,

While I was showering, the little voices in my head were saying, “Soap up those tits more! Keep soaping those knockers!” Then I realized I never turned off Skype.

I know the Bible says “Love thy neighbor as thy self,” but I

I know the Bible says “Love thy neighbor as thy self,” but I don’t care what Jesus says — I’m not about to go around giving

Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off?

Have you ever tried to donkey-punch yourself when jerking off? The toughest part is figuring out which sock puppet gets to do the deed.

Delivery Style: misdirection