Delivery Style: observational

Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Regional Driving Habits and Stereotypes

    How To Identify Where a Driver is From

    * One hand on wheel, one hand on horn: Chicago

    * One hand on wheel, one finger out window: New York

    * One hand on wheel, one hand on newspaper, foot solidly on accelerator: Boston

    * One hand on wheel, cradling cell phone, brick on accelerator: California.
    With gun in lap: L.A.

    * Both hands on wheel, eyes shut, both feet on brake, quivering in terror: Ohio, but driving in California.

    * Both hands in air, gesturing, both feet on accelerator, head turned to talk to someone in back seat: Italy

    * One hand on latte, one knee on wheel, cradling cell phone, foot on brake, mind on game: Seattle

    * One hand on wheel, one hand on hunting rifle, alternating between both feet being on the accelerator and both on the brake, throwing a McDonalds bag out the window: Texas city male

    * One hand on wheel, one hand hanging out the window, keeping speed steadily at 70mph, driving down the center of the road unless coming around a blind curve, in which case they are on the left side of the road: Texas country male

    * One hand constantly refocusing the rear-view mirror to show different angles of the BIG hair, one hand going between mousse, brush, and rat-tail to keep the helmet hair going, both feet on the accelerator, poodle steering the car, chrome .38 revolver with mother of pearl inlaid handle in the glove compartment: Texas female

    * Four wheel drive pickup truck, shotgun mounted in rear window, beer cans on floor, squirrel tails attached to antenna: West Virginia

    * Two hands gripping wheel, blue hair barely visible above window level, driving 35 on the interstate in the left lane with the left blinker on: Florida

  • Annual 4 Inch

    Annual 4 Inch

    It’s my wife’s birthday

    Annual 4 Inch

    $5.99 EACH

  • Three Nervous Drivers Learn Basic Car Operations

    As an instructor in driver education at Unionville-Sebewaing Area High School in Michigan, I’ve learned that even the brightest students can become flustered behind the wheel. One day I had three beginners in the car, each scheduled to drive for 30 minutes. When the first student had completed his time, I asked him to change places with one of the others.

    Gripping the wheel tightly and staring straight ahead, he asked in a shaky voice, “Should I stop the car?”

  • Chunky Peanut Butter

    Chunky Peanut Butter

    David Veltri @Veltrida

    i don’t wanna be rude, but i’ve gathered enough info in my life to know that people who like chunky peanut butter like to be choked during sex

  • Down For Whatever

    Down For Whatever

    I say “I’m down for whatever” a lot for someone who is down for maybe 3 things and one of those is napping and another is sleeping

  • Holiday Traditions We Actually Need Most

    The Top 12 Holiday Traditions We Desperately Need

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    12. Christmas Card Photoshop Day, thus rendering the family as semi-presentable to the general public.

    11. “Touched by an Angel” coulda made us a Hanukah special, I’m just sayin’.

    10. Being able to punch people who brag about being done with holiday shopping before December 20th.

    9. Family gathered around the Yuletide table, together agreeing, “‘It’s a Wonderful Life’ SUCKED.”

    8. Making Yule logs out of compressed and dried members of your Congressional delegation.

    7. To save time, movie theater concession stands will serve Chinese food.

    6. Egg nog car wash.

    5. We really should call that “footballey-eatey” day before Black Friday something special.

    4. Christmas bramble-themed decorating where all the tangled lights can just be dumped on the front lawn.

    3. Living Nativity entirely comprised of chimpanzees.

    2. A red Christmas ball gag for that loud, annoying relative who just won’t shut up about the President’s birth certificate.

    And the Number One Holiday Tradition We Desperately Need…

    1. Mistletoe is for kissing. So let’s raise the stakes a little under the “Cameltoe.”

  • Clutches Her Purse

    Clutches Her Purse

    Instagram: S.grate @sgrate_

    The most offensive thing as a black man is when you walkin down the street and a old white woman clutches her purse… bitch really think she stronger than me

  • Ugly and Poor

    Women call me ugly only until they find how much I make.

    Then they call me ugly and poor!!

  • Miley Cyrus Home Depot

    Miley Cyrus Home Depot

    mikerocks182 1 week ago

    When Miley Cyrus gets naked and licks a hammer it’s “art” and “music.” When I do it, I’m “wasted” and “have to leave Home Depot.”

    Reply · 42

  • Really Useful IRS Website

    If the IRS wanted to put something really useful on their website, how about a list of countries that don’t have an extradition treaty with the U.S.?