Delivery Style: observational

Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

Sometimes you witness something so utterly amazing and

Sometimes you witness something so utterly amazing and emotionally moving that you can’t help from screaming out, “Holy shit! That dog is licking his own balls!”
I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability

I think God made a deal with cats and dogs. They got the ability to lick their privates in exchange for having to lick their own butts clean.
In high school, I used to hold a notebook in front of my

In high school, I used to hold a notebook in front of my appendage to hide the wood I was sporting. Now that I’m older and more mature, I throw a parade in its honor.
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you

Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the

I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the fashion industry is too afraid to show off their new paisley butt-plug, who needs their opinions?
I just know there’s some guy at Google’s safe search department

I just know there’s some guy at Google’s safe search department whose job it is to develop software that recognizes, tags and isolates images of nipples. FML.
Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line

Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line between “Virginia” and “Vagina” in your search results. And most of the “Virginia” links are really boring.
Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they

Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they keep coming up with new names for lady-parts, I’ll never graduate from medical school.
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for

Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to

I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!