You know those frilled lizards, the ones that can make themselves look bigger and more fearsome by flipping out those flaps around their heads? I’ll bet those things have tiny little dicks.
Delivery Style: observational
Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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My cat likes to sit on our laps and lick herself clean. My son
My cat likes to sit on our laps and lick herself clean. My son says she’s telling us, “I feel comfortable with you and trust you.” I think
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I’ve been getting a lot of “but sex” lately. Women I date say,
I’ve been getting a lot of “but sex” lately. Women I date say, “I like you and all, but sex…”
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Dogs are man’s best friend. You can tell this because all your
Dogs are man’s best friend. You can tell this because all your other friends will stop having anything to do with you if you have their balls cut off.
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(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas
(Lori Petterson) Happiness is finding a freshly cleaned gas station restroom when you have to poo.
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Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster
Nothing takes the sexy out of a fresh set of bed sheets faster than a schmear of butt-mustard left behind by the cat.
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Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone!
Before I can stand up and turn around — whoosh, it’s gone! Airports should add a pause button to those damn electronic toilets.
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They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better
They say a dog’s sense of smell is thousands of times better than that of a human. If that’s the case, why do dogs have to get their nose so damn close when sniffing each others butts?
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I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of
I am routinely disgusted upon seeing my wife’s issues of “Fitness” and “Shape” magazines, with scantily attired women adorning the cover. I mean, they *always* find a way to put the damn mailing label on top of the cameltoe!
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I think all in-flight movies should be porn. That way the Mile
I think all in-flight movies should be porn. That way the Mile High Club assholes could get if over with faster so the rest of us could use the damn toilet.
