A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
Delivery Style: observational
Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller.
I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller. It seems like the logical next step since so many guys masturbate in their cars.
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Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses
Urinal proverb: A watched penis never pisses.
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They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your
They say you can conserve water by putting a brick in your toilet tank. I must be saving a ton of water because I drop one directly in the bowl every morning.
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Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does
Don’t you hate it when you’re about to cum and the guy does something to ruin it? You know, like speaking.
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There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every
There’s a girl in my office who pipes up at the end of every sentence and tries to finish it for you. In response, I’ve started ending all my sentences with “that fucks a donkey.” It hasn’t really stopped her from trying to finish my sentences, but it’s gotten me a LOT of attention from the Human Resources folks.
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I cried because I didn’t have Jilly G’s tits. Then I met a man
I cried because I didn’t have Jilly G’s tits. Then I met a man who did, and I thought, “At least my hands are free to write a Rumination about Jilly G’s tits.”
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Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man
Evidently, some guys consider less-than-manly the idea of a man making lunch for his wife before he leaves for work. At least that would explain the snickering when I told my co-workers that I tossed my wife’s salad this morning.
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Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate?
Has your grocery list ever seemed Freudian or inappropriate? Mine reads: “relish sausage spread buns.”
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Sometimes you just want a guy to throw you to the ground and
Sometimes you just want a guy to throw you to the ground and fuck the living shit out of you. Other times you just want him to bring you your entrée while it’s still hot.
