In high school, I used to hold a notebook in front of my appendage to hide the wood I was sporting. Now that I’m older and more mature, I throw a parade in its honor.
Delivery Style: observational
Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you
Word to the wise: The line “Honey, I hurt my penis — can you kiss it and make it better?” should be used very sparingly. Sooner or later you’re going to lose your balance mountainbiking and bang it against the gooseneck, giving you a good 10 minutes of intense sharp pain, after which you’ll return home and she’ll be all “I’m not falling for that again!”
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I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the
I never follow fashion trends. The way I see it is if the fashion industry is too afraid to show off their new paisley butt-plug, who needs their opinions?
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Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line
Careful of your spelling when you Google. There’s a fine line between “Virginia” and “Vagina” in your search results. And most of the “Virginia” links are really boring.
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Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they
Vajayjay. Hoo-ha. Honey pot. Love canal. Man, at the rate they keep coming up with new names for lady-parts, I’ll never graduate from medical school.
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Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for
Breasts would be so much less interesting if it weren’t for nipples. I must concede, however, that they would STILL be breasts.
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I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to
I hate it when people tell my boyfriend, “You’re so lucky to have such a cute, funny girlfriend.” Have they not noticed the tits?!
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A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to
A tip for making any Dr. Seuss book tolerable for adults: Try to find as many pictures of genitalia in the illustrations as you can.
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I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller.
I wonder why the sperm bank doesn’t have a drive-through teller. It seems like the logical next step since so many guys masturbate in their cars.
