Observational Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure the people who

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure the people who named it Dick’s knew what the word dick means.

The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.

If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.

your snacks are processed and everyone knows you’re vaccinated” – how a kid talks shit in 2015

Weird how people always say something bad smells like raw sewage, as if cooked sewage doesn’t smell like shit.

The theme of every fair or carnival with rides and fixed games should be “Fucking with Physics.”

You can tell how puritanical this country is by the fact that Hallmark doesn’t make a “Happy Felllated Birthday” card.

Dance in the School for the Blind’s talent show like nobody’s watching.

I hope people don’t talk about me behind my back as I do to them. But I’m pretty sure they won’t point at *me*, “That Trump is an asshole!”

These funeral ushers are not fucking around with the one free balloon per mourner limit.