Delivery Style: observational

Observational joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into

I call them “tissues” instead of “Kleenex” until one goes into the laundry, then they’re “fucking Kleenex.”
“Fuckwad on Board” signs would be a lot more useful and honest

“Fuckwad on Board” signs would be a lot more useful and honest than “Baby on Board” signs.
While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller”

While flipping through the TV channels, I found the “Thriller” video in the middle of the zombie dance. My youngest son said, “I bet that’s what Michael looks like now.”
I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure the people who

I’m no conspiracy theorist, but I’m pretty sure the people who named it Dick’s knew what the word dick means.
The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary.

The 69th wedding anniversary should be the dildo anniversary. Not only is the number appropriate but you’re definitely not fucking anyone by then.
If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s

If you’re casually walking around carrying a sack of your dog’s shit, the dog won.
your snacks are processed and everyone knows you’re vaccinated”

your snacks are processed and everyone knows you’re vaccinated” – how a kid talks shit in 2015
Weird how people always say something bad smells like raw

Weird how people always say something bad smells like raw sewage, as if cooked sewage doesn’t smell like shit.
The theme of every fair or carnival with rides and fixed games

The theme of every fair or carnival with rides and fixed games should be “Fucking with Physics.”
You can tell how puritanical this country is by the fact that

You can tell how puritanical this country is by the fact that Hallmark doesn’t make a “Happy Felllated Birthday” card.