Delivery Style: setup-punchline

Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Divorced Barbie

    A man was driving home from work one evening when he suddenly realized Christmas was coming up and he had not yet purchased his daughter a gift.

    So, the man rushed off to the nearest toy store and asked the sales clerk, “How much is that Barbie in the window?”

    The sales clerk replied in a condescending tone, “Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for $19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for $19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.00.”

    The overwhelmed man asked, “Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.00 and all the others are only $19.95?”

    “That’s obvious!” said the sales clerk. “Divorced Barbie comes with Ken’s house, Ken’s car, Ken’s boat, and Ken’s furniture.”

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  • If Those Useless Cocksuckers at the Lumber Yard

    A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The young family’s 6-year-old daughter naturally took an interest in all the activity going on next door and started talking with the workers. She hung around and eventually the construction crew more or less adopted her as a kind of project mascot.

    They chatted with her, let her sit with them while they had coffee and lunch breaks, and gave her little jobs to do here and there to make her feel important. At the end of the first week they even presented her with a pay envelope containing a dollar. The little girl took this home to her mother who said all the appropriate words of admiration and suggested that they take her dollar pay she had received to the bank the next day to start a savings account.

    When they got to the bank the teller was equally impressed with the story and asked the little girl how she had come by her very own pay check at such a young age. The little girl proudly replied, “I’ve been working with a crew building a house all week.”

    “My goodness gracious,” said the teller, “and will you be working on the house again this week too?”

    “I will if those useless cocksuckers at the lumber yard ever bring us the fucking wood,” replied the little girl.

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  • Bet Your Ass Its Not Cheerios

    There are two little brothers, one is seven and the other is four. The seven year old convinces the four year old that they are old enough to swear now. He tells the four year old, “When we go downstairs, I will say, ‘Hell’ and you say ‘ass’.”

    The four year old agrees. When they get downstairs, the mother asks the seven year old, “What do you want for breakfast?”

    Seven year old, “Oh, hell, I’ll just have some Cheerios.”

    Well, mother slaps the crap out of him and sends him to his room.

    Then, she turns to the four year old — “What do you want for breakfast?”

    The four year old is wide-eyed and says, “I’m not sure, but you can bet your ass it’s not going to be Cheerios!”

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  • She Fakes It With Ken

    A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks, “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”

    The little girl replies, “I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe.”

    Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, “I thought Barbie comes with Ken.”

    “No,” says the little girl. “She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.”

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  • What Do You Think

    A salesman rang the bell at a suburban home, and the door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar. Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked the young man, “Is your mother or father at home?”

    The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked, “What do you think?”

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  • Standing on It

    Teacher to Little Johnny: “You’re late again. What’s your excuse today, Johnny?”

    LJ: “There was a man outside who lost a hundred dollar bill.”

    Teacher: “Oh… so you were helping him find it? That’s very nice of you, Johnny.”

    LJ: “Well, not really… I was standing on it.”

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  • My Husbands Home

    Bill pulled up a stool at his favorite bar and announced, “My wife Suzie must love me more than any woman has ever loved any man!”

    The bartender inquired, “What makes you say that?”

    Bill beamed with pride, “Last week, I had to take a couple of sick days from work… Suzie was so thrilled to have me around, that every time a mail or delivery person came by, she’d run down the driveway waving her arms hollering, ‘My husband’s home! My husband’s home!’”

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  • So Fragrantly

    A local store was giving away free samples of perfume, limited to one per customer.

    I went in with my brother, who decided that if he sprayed the entire sample on himself in the store, then he was entitled to take another as he hadn’t technically left the store with the first. He repeated this seven or eight times until he reeked of roses.

    Somehow, he seemed not to find anything wrong with this behaviour. I, however, was appalled. I couldn’t believe my own brother would abuse the rules so fragrantly.

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  • It Will Be Missed

    I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.

    It will be missed.

  • 30000 Feet Fetish

    30000 Feet Fetish