A young family moved into a house next door to a vacant lot. One day a construction crew turned up to start building a house on the empty lot.
Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
Unleash ChaosDelivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Bet Your Ass Its Not Cheerios
There are two little brothers, one is seven and the other is four. The seven year old convinces the four year old that they are old enough to swear now. He tells the four year old, “When we go downstairs, I will say, ‘Hell’ and you say ‘ass’.”
The four year old agrees. When they get downstairs, the mother asks the seven year old, “What do you want for breakfast?”
Seven year old, “Oh, hell, I’ll just have some Cheerios.”
Well, mother slaps the crap out of him and sends him to his room.
Then, she turns to the four year old — “What do you want for breakfast?”
The four year old is wide-eyed and says, “I’m not sure, but you can bet your ass it’s not going to be Cheerios!”
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She Fakes It With Ken
A little girl is in line to see Santa. When it’s her turn, she climbs up on Santa’s lap. Santa asks, “What would you like Santa to bring you for Christmas?”
The little girl replies, “I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe.”
Santa looks at the little girl for a moment and says, “I thought Barbie comes with Ken.”
“No,” says the little girl. “She comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.”
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What Do You Think
A salesman rang the bell at a suburban home, and the door was opened by a nine-year-old boy puffing on a long black cigar. Hiding his amazement, the salesman asked the young man, “Is your mother or father at home?”
The boy took the cigar out of his mouth, flicked ashes on the carpet, and asked, “What do you think?”
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Standing on It
Teacher to Little Johnny: “You’re late again. What’s your excuse today, Johnny?”
LJ: “There was a man outside who lost a hundred dollar bill.”
Teacher: “Oh… so you were helping him find it? That’s very nice of you, Johnny.”
LJ: “Well, not really… I was standing on it.”
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So Fragrantly
A local store was giving away free samples of perfume, limited to one per customer.
I went in with my brother, who decided that if he sprayed the entire sample on himself in the store, then he was entitled to take another as he hadn’t technically left the store with the first. He repeated this seven or eight times until he reeked of roses.
Somehow, he seemed not to find anything wrong with this behaviour. I, however, was appalled. I couldn’t believe my own brother would abuse the rules so fragrantly.
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It Will Be Missed
I donated my old basketball hoop to the school for the blind.
It will be missed.
