I’d like to give a shout out to all of the librarians…
…oh… oh, yeah… I’m sorry.
Delivery Style: setup-punchline
Setup-punchline joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Prophets Going Through the Roof
I just opened a store selling trampolines disguised as prayer mats.
Prophets are going through the roof!
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Hit the Roof
I told my wife that I’ve swapped our bed for a trampoline.
She hit the roof!
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Poop With the Door Open
I told my wife that we’ve been together long enough now, we can poop with the door open…
…She told me I shouldn’t be pooping in the car in the first place!
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Much Better Insurance
A rich donor is given a tour of the new hospital wing named after her.
The tour guide shows her all the wonderful people she’s helped, the staff they hired, and the medical equipment her philanthropy helped fund. As they tour one of the bottom floors, they come to a room where a man is furiously masturbating. The rich donor is appalled and wants to cut the tour short.
The tour guide says, “Ma’am, you don’t understand. This man has a very rare condition. If he doesn’t ejaculate every hour or so, poisons will accumulate in his blood and he’ll die soon after.”
Relieved by the explanation, the rich donor decides to continue the tour. She’s shown the cancer ward, obstetrics, the highly advanced surgical ward, and finally the top floor that houses the sickest patients. As the tourists pass a room, the donor notices a patient receiving a blowjob from a nurse. Again, she is appalled and wants to end the tour.
The tour guide says, “Remember down on the first floor with the guy masturbating?”
She replies, “How could I forget?”
The tour guide says, “Well, this man has the same condition, only much better insurance.”
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Moo Goo Gai Pan
While lying in bed, the chef of the Chinese restaurant nudged his wife, saying, “I wouldn’t mind a little 69 right now.”
His wife, who works as a server, turned her back, saying, “If you think I’m gonna get out of bed at this time of night to make you moo goo gai pan, you’re crazy.”
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Slip Into Something Comfortable
allow me to slip into something more comfortable ~
*gets in my car and leaves*
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Definitely
A teacher walks up to the blackboard and writes DEFINITELY.
She turns to the class and says, “Today we’ll be looking at the word ‘definitely.’ Definitely is when something is assured and there is no chance of doubt. Now, I want some volunteers to use definitely in a statement.”
Little Suzy raises her hand and says, “I am definitely going to the park after school today.”
“No, I would think there’s a good chance you’ll go to the park, but it might rain, so it’s not definitely.”
Little Billy raises his hand and says, “My team is definitely going to win the game this Saturday.”
“No, I know you really want your team to win the game this Saturday, but wanting is not enough to make it definitely.”
Little Johnny raises his hand and says, “Miss, is there such a thing as a lumpy fart?”
“No.”
“Then I definitely just shat myself.”
