Setup Punchline Jokes, Memes & Dark Humor

5ft Apart Never Caught

Telling my future grandchildren how I stood only 5ft apart instead of 6ft in 2020

AND I NEVER GOT CAUGHT NEITHER

Sits On Face Sideways

When she sits on your face sideways

Heroin Balloon Butt

When you’re fucking a girl in the butt and a balloon of heroin plops out

Don’t mind if I do.

Constipated Memory

Constipated woman ‘lost 10 years of memory’ after straining too hard on toilet

me coming out of the chipotle bathroom:

I have no memory of this place.

Short Notice

My son’s doctor called in a panic and exclaimed, “You need to get to my office immediately! I have dire news.” Very worried, I rushed over to find out what was so critical.

When I arrived, he explained, “After a careful review of your son’s charts, I believe that he won’t grow past five feet tall. I’m very sorry to have to deliver this bad news.”

I ask, “OK, but why was this such an emergency? Couldn’t this meeting have waited a few days?”

He answered, “I thought you want to know now, although I’m sorry about the short notice.”