DURING SEX YOU BURN AS MUCH CALORIES AS RUNNING FOR 5 MILES.
WHO THE FUCK RUNS 5 MILES IN 30 SECONDS?
Delivery Style: shock value
Shock value joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.
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Hooker Drowned 10 Minutes
When the hooker you just drowned still has another 10 minutes you paid for
made with mematic
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Top 12 Pickup Lines at the Masturbate-a-Thon (X-Rated)
The Top 12 Pickup Lines Used at the Masturbate-a-Thon (X-rated version)
12. “Can I interest you in a protein shake?”
11. “Hey, handsome. Would you like some coffee with that cream?”
10. “Hey, is that a cucumber in your pocket? And if so, can I borrow it for about 15 minutes?”
9. “Avoid the clam dip.”
8. “I don’t mean this to sound like a typical pick-up line, but you have beautiful labia.”
7. “Hello, Richard. My name’s Dick. Have you met my friend, Peter?”
6. “How’d you like to blow this joint?”
5. “If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put ‘goo’ and ‘eye’ together.”
4. “Care to get rid of the sock and slip into something more comfortable?”
3. “Come here to come here often?”
2. “Oops — sorry about that. Consider it a compliment. Can I get you a towel?”
1. “Wanna fuck? No? Okay…
Wanna fuck? No? Okay…
Wanna fuck? No? Okay…
Wanna fuck? Yes? Great!” -
Taking Out the Bodies of the Previous Owners
I really enjoy taking out the trash from my new home. It’s hard to explain, but walking the trash to the curb the night before trash day really makes me feel like a homeowner. Especially now that I’ve taken out the bodies of the previous owners.
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Joel Osteen Phrasing
Do not swallow anything Satan is trying to ram down your throat. Jesus comes first. – Joel Osteen
HOLY SHIT, JOEL!
PHRASING!!
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Angry Raccoon
angry raccoon
When banging a girl from behind, you stick both your pointer fingers in her ass, and when she turns around in shock, you take your shitty fingers and circle around her eyes, making the appearance of a raccoon. Then you run out of the house, knocking over the trash can on the way out.
After a visit to the zoo, I felt compelled to give my girl the angry raccoon.
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Wont Do What You Tell Me
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
FUCK YOU I WON’T DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
MOTHERFUCKER……..UGGGGH!!!!
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Something I Dont Know
hmm.. lovely weather today
pft
tell me something I don’t know
your Grandma’s ass can take my whole fist..
