Delivery Style: statement

Statement joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Five Guys

    Five Guys

    I DON’T THINK THERE’S ACTUALLY FIVE GUYS IN THIS.

  • Jesus Lepers TV

    Jesus Lepers TV

    My favorite Bible story is probably the one where Jesus tells the lepers to get used to the idea that a lot of them are going to die, and then he goes on TV to brag about what a great job he’s doing.

  • Computer Safety: A Gentleman’s Guide

    1. It is unsafe to lick your monitor while it is ON.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    2. The orifices in the back of your monitor are NOT intended for participation in the LIVE sex shows.

    3. The fan in your computer’s power supply is not a good place to cool your “heat of passion” (although, it would certainly be an enlightening experience).

    4. Be prepared to replace your keyboard often if you enjoy “tickling the keys” with your manhood.

    5. Semen IS electrically conductive!

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  • Count Chocula Puts Out a Tasty Cereal

    You know, for an evil, undead minion of Satan who feasts on the blood of the living, that Count Chocula sure puts out a mighty tasty cereal.

  • Slow Morning Romance

    Slow Morning Romance

    I like my mornings to be slow and quiet. I want the day to romance me a bit before it tries to fuck me.

  • Lemons Painted Like Hand Grenades

    When life gives you lemons, paint them up like hand grenades and hijack a plane to Cuba.

  • Whoopee Cushion in the Library

    People may think of whoopee cushions as an old joke, but then they probably haven’t experienced the hilarity to be found at a quiet, crowded library.