Delivery Style: statement

Statement joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Newton Invented Gravity

    Newton Invented Gravity

    DID YOU KNOW?

    Before Isaac Newton invented gravity in 1869, people could fly

  • No Mother Robs Store

    No Mother Robs Store

    NO MOTHER SHOULD HAVE TO FEAR FOR HER SON’S LIFE EVERY TIME HE ROBS A STORE

    RESIST AND !!

  • Trump Shakira Hot

    Trump Shakira Hot

    Donald J. Trump @realDonaldTrump

    That Shakira is hot. If only they all looked like that. Open borders baby.

  • Spain and Portugal Fit Like a Glove

    Continental drift is no mere theory; it is fact. Forget about trying to fit Africa and South America together — just look at how Spain’s jagged western border fits Portugal’s jagged eastern border like a glove. Coincidence? Please.

  • Check and Chuck

    The FDA announced today the approval of a new birth control product. The package combines an Early Pregnancy Test kit (or EPT) with the new French abortion pill, RU-486.

    Clean Mode hides the spicy parts.
    Unleash Chaos

    The product will be marketed by Dow Chemical under the shelf name of “Check and Chuck!!”

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  • No Math at All

    All over China, parents tell their children to stop complaining and to finish their quadratic equations and trigonometric functions because there are sixty-five million American kids going to bed with no math at all.

  • Preferred Seating on the Short Bus

    On my resume, should I be bold and include “Proven Methodology of Obtaining and Retaining Preferred Seating on the Short Bus” as an achievement? Or should I just list it with my other superpowers?

  • Late For The Couch

    Late For The Couch

    I need to get out of this bed or I’m going to be late for the couch

  • Worm Early Birds

    Worm Early Birds

    if I was a worm I’d sleep in and make those early birds feel so fuckin dumb

  • First Thing Mass Shooting

    First Thing Mass Shooting

    The first thing black ppl say when it’s a mass shooting.