Delivery Style: wordplay

Wordplay joke delivery styles, punchline pacing, and comedy formats for people with specific chaos preferences from Chaotic Meh — organized so the algorithm can pretend this place has adult supervision.

  • Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick — A Perfect Match

    Did you hear about the two gay Irish men? They are a perfect match.

    Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick.

  • Garbage Can, Not Garbage Cannot

    Garbage Can, Not Garbage Cannot

    JUST BECAUSE YOU’RE TRASH DOESN’T MEAN YOU CAN’T DO GREAT THINGS.

    IT IS CALLED GARBAGE CAN, NOT GARBAGE CANNOT.

  • Three Horse

    An old Indian was asked the name of his wife,

    He replied, “Three Horse.”

    “That’s an unusual name for your wife, Three Horse. What does it mean?”

    The Indian replied, “It’s an old Indian name.”

    It means, Nag, Nag, Nag.

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  • Cliff Was Born For This Job

    Cliff Was Born For This Job

    Cliff was born for this job.

    CLIFF HANGER
    Rock Climbing Instructor
    BBC BREAKFAST

  • Shit Happens According to Religion

    Taoism — Shit happens.

    Buddhism — If shit happens, it’s not really shit.

    Islam — If shit happens, it’s the will of Allah.

    Protestantism — Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.

    Judaism — Why does this shit always happen to us?

    Hinduism — This shit happened before.

    Catholicism — Shit happens because you’re bad.

    Hare Krishna — Shit happens rama rama.

    T.V. Evangelism — Send more shit.

    Atheism — No shit.

    Jehovah’s Witness — Knock knock, shit happens.

    Hedonism — There’s nothing like a good shit happening.

    Christian Science — Shit happens in your mind.

    Agnosticism — Maybe shit happens, maybe it doesn’t.

    Rastafarianism — Let’s smoke this shit.

    Existentialism — What is shit anyway?

    Stoicism — This shit doesn’t bother me.

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  • Horse Walks Into A Bar Hey Sure

    Horse Walks Into A Bar Hey Sure

    Horse walks into a bar.

    Bartender: Hey.

    Horse: Sure.

  • Muggy Out Today Sips Coffee From Bowl

    Muggy Out Today Sips Coffee From Bowl

    ME: honey, it’s really muggy out today
    WIFE: if I go outside & all our mugs are on the front lawn, I’m leaving u
    ME: *sips coffee from bowl*

  • A Little Drinking Problem

    A Little Drinking Problem

    I think I might have a little drinking problem

  • Muslim Band And Mexican Mall

    Muslim Band And Mexican Mall

    TRUMP: Let’s get that Muslim Band going

    “Band? We thought you said ban”

    TRUMP: No way, that’s harsh. Also, how’s that Mexican mall coming?

  • The 12-Inch Pianist and the Million Bucks

    A guy walks into a bar carrying a briefcase and an old brass lamp.

    He sits down and sets both on the bar.

    The bartender pours him a drink and asks, “What’s in the briefcase?”

    The man opens it to reveal a tiny man sitting at a piano, playing beautifully.

    “Where on earth did you get that?” the bartender asks.

    The man points to the lamp. “A genie. He granted me a wish.”

    “No way,” says the bartender. “Can I try?”

    “Be my guest.”

    The bartender rubs the lamp, and out pops a genie.

    “What is your wish?” asks the genie.

    The bartender thinks for a moment and says, “I want a million bucks!”

    The genie claps his hands.

    Instantly, the bar is filled with a million ducks.

    Ducks are everywhere. On the tables, behind the bar, hanging from the light fixtures.

    The bartender stares in disbelief.

    “What’s wrong with this genie?” he shouts. “He must be hard of hearing!”

    The man takes a sip of his drink and says, “You think? Do you really believe I wished for a 12-inch pianist?”

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