Did you hear about the two gay Irish men? They are a perfect match.
Patrick Fitzhenry and Henry Fitzpatrick.
Joke Type: pun
Pun jokes, punchlines, setups, and comedy bits from Chaotic Meh — sorted for people who know exactly what kind of bad idea they want.
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Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
Scientists have discovered what is believed to be the world’s largest bedsheet. More on this story as it unfolds.
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I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
I signed up for my company’s 401K…but I’m not sure that I can run that far.
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A friend named his dog 5 miles
A friend of mine named his dog “5 miles” so he could tell people he walked 5 miles.
But today he ran over 5 miles.
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Beating Around the Bush at the Brothel
A man goes to a brothel where they line up 10 naked women for him to choose from at the cost of $1000. Nine are very unattractive to the man, but off to the side he sees the most beautiful young woman who also has the hairiest vagina he has ever seen, but was holding up a $500 sign that said no oral or penetration.
“What’s the deal with her?” the man asked, still intrigued.
“With her you can only beat around the bush.”
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Sick Duck
What’s the difference between you and a mallard with a cold? One’s a sick duck and I can’t remember how it ends, but your mother’s a whore.
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Trumpets
John: *writes Revelations* Lord, the End is signaled by trumpets?
God: No, Trump/Pence
John: Right. Trumpets.
God: Fine. They’ll know.
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The Italian Chef Passed Away
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness?
He pastaway.
Cannoli do so much.
Now hes just a pizza history. -
Professional Hide-and-Seek Tournament
I tried to organize a professional Hide-and-Seek tournament, but it was a complete failure. Good players are hard to find.
